Messy Room 1
By Andrea Simanson
Does your kid have a messy room?
Does your kid hate it when you nag them to clean their room?
Are you frustrated every time you walk into your son or daughter's room?
Tips on helping a kid with a messy room.
Don'ts
1. Don't regularly tell them to clean their room.
2. Don't nag them.
3. Don't let their room get messy to begin with.
Dos
1. Do give them frequent room inspections.
2. Do inspire them to love living in a clean room.
3. Do help them clean the room.
4. Do get involved everyday.
Teach your child what the standard is and then expect that from
him. If it's not kept up, what are the consequences? Do
they lose a privilege, Avoid the temptation to nag when you're
irritated with their lack of cleanliness. I know, ‘it's easier
said than done." The key is to inspect the room daily and help
them learn to put things in their place each day before the pile has
grown. This may mean that you pick up a few clothes and toys
initially when you are training them, so they feel helped and inspired
to do the right thing. Involvement can either be "anger expressed
out of frustration because they are messy" or it can be "hands-on
training and involvement, and loving acceptance through the process."
Did you ever stop to think that maybe Messy Room Kids are those who
aren't bothered by the mess. Consider their personality? Do they
automatically throw their clothes on the floor (which takes about the
same amount of time as it does to fold and put them in a drawer or on a
hanger and into the closet).
Step back and look at the big picture. Why does my kid "pile" instead
of "put away"? And just because it doesn't bother him or her, does that
mean I should allow the pigsty to grow? Of course not. The key is in
learning how to work with your particular child to help him or her
succeed. Your child may ask you to stop nagging, but nagging is
different than involvement. Your child may not like your
involvement because it means "work" for them, but that doesn't mean you
should stop being involved. Here's the scenario: You walk into the
room. You have thoughts that make your heart pound: "I don't know where
to start -- with a broom under the bed or an 18 gallon garbage can"
"This is completely unacceptable!" "How can you live like this!"
Notice I said "thoughts" not "verbal expressions." Oh, sometimes we
verbalize them, but for the most part, we need to try to exercise self
control and patience through the whole process. Teaching a disorganized
child to be tidy and organized is a process. It's not a one-time
activity where I help them get their room clean and it automatically
stays that way. This whole process can either be a downer or an
upper -- and much of it depends on your approach to the situation as a
parent. Have you talked with your spouse about the issue? Have you
prayed together to consider your child, their personality, your
approach to the situation, how you can help him or her? If not, that's
where to begin. It doesn't have to take long, just a few minutes
actually. Your child is worth the investment and your family life
will improve as you work through these issues. Hang in there.
Visit the "Messy Room" section on the site for upcoming tips on how to
help your kid get his act together! It's a process, and we want
to see you through it!
Andrea Simanson is a wife and
mother of three children, and the website and ezine editor of Successful Family Chores
- Putting FUN and ENERGY into everyday tasks.
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